DEAR ABBY: A few days ago, my significant other, his 18-year-old daughter, "Maria," and I were in our living room discussing "Jonah," a slightly older guy she has been dating and who spends a lot of time here. I told her I have high expectations for her and think she can do a lot better than him.
I didn't realize that Jonah was in the next room when I spoke my mind or that he had heard me. My boyfriend told me later that Jonah said, "Now I know how she really feels about me!"
Abby, he's a nice kid, and he's always welcome here. I feel terrible about hurting his feelings, even though my opinion about him not being good enough for Maria hasn't changed. Still, I know the effect crass words can have on a young person, and I should have thought twice before opening my mouth.
Should I apologize to him for what I said? If so, what should I say? -- HOOF IN MOUTH IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HOOF IN MOUTH: What happened was regrettable. By all means apologize to Maria's boyfriend for hurting his feelings. Tell him that you didn't mean to be cruel, but that you would feel better about the relationship if he had higher goals. It might be the push he needs to raise his ambitions and become more successful in life when he's older.