DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years. In the beginning, we'd split our visits between her house and mine because we live 100 miles apart.
Two years ago she stopped wanting me to come to her house. She'd say it was dirty or that she didn't want anyone there. When we plan to have me go there, the day arrives and she says she wants to break up with me because I insist on visiting her. Over the past year and a half, I have been to her place only three times. She hemmed and hawed but finally allowed it.
She claims there's no reason she's acting this way, that I'm crazy and people are putting ideas in my head. I tell her it's her behavior that makes me think she's hiding something. What should I do? -- SUSPICIOUS IN BUFFALO
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Something strange is going on. A drastic change in someone's behavior is legitimate cause for concern. Clearly your girlfriend has a secret. She may be seeing someone or there's something else she doesn't want you to see. You are overdue in getting to the bottom of it, so stop allowing her to put you on the defensive, even if it means ending the relationship.