DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Simon," is a workaholic. I didn't know him long before I married him, which was a mistake. He never adapted to being part of a couple. His rewards all came from work -- the paychecks, kudos from clients and fellow employees, and others saying what a good provider he was. He bought our kids' love with presents, not presence.
He was gone at dawn, came home after the kids were in bed, volunteered to work on his "off" days and usually stayed later than scheduled. He kept busy with everyone and everything except us. I raised our children alone and worked outside the home as well. I took them to their sports events, extra activities and to the synagogue. We didn't need the "extra" money, but he was never satisfied, always wanting more. I was faithful to a ghost, living alone and crying for too long. After 30 years I realized I didn't miss him anymore. He had broken my heart and fractured my dreams.
It's too late for me to start again and find love. Abby, tell young wives to trust their hearts and priorities. They deserve warmth, not cold cash. -- ALONE NOW BY CHOICE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR ALONE: What a sad story. You married someone who may have had such an overwhelming fear of poverty that he sacrificed the joys of family for financial security. While you may not have had romance, I'm sure you have earned the love of your children. Allow yourself to enjoy what your husband has accumulated.
And if you've had enough of solitude, consider this: It's never too late to find love. People of every age do it every day, but first you need to find it within yourself. Unless you do, your bitterness will spill over onto every relationship you have.