DEAR ABBY: My mother is dying of old age and heart failure. It's not unexpected and we are preparing for the end to come soon.
The problem is I'm not a good housekeeper, and I am in marginal health. My husband is disabled and is, frankly, a slob. I have given up trying to keep a clean house while caring for him, my mother and myself. I just don't have the strength to do it all, and my husband does nothing except lie around on his bed watching TV or sleeping all day.
I know when my mother passes, people will want to come here to visit or bring food. My house is so dirty and deplorable I don't want anyone to come here. What should I do? I have thought about hiring a service, but I'm not sure I can afford it. Any other suggestions? -- OVERWHELMED AND TIRED IN TEXAS
DEAR OVERWHELMED AND TIRED: Please accept my sympathy for the impending loss of your mother. Even when death is accepted as inevitable, it is nonetheless heart wrenching. I'll offer two suggestions:
The first is to talk to your religious adviser about your concerns, because it's possible some volunteers from your mother's church -- or your own -- might be kind enough to help you get your house in order to receive guests after the funeral. The other would be to request that guests meet afterward at the church reception hall or funeral home for refreshments.