DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Dara," who is a single mom. From time to time she has watched my kids while my husband and I have traveled on business. For this reason I have given her our garage door combination. Now, every time she visits, she uses our garage code and walks in through our back door. She drops off items for us and lets herself in when we're not home, then texts me afterward about "how happy the dog was" to see her or tell me to look for something she dropped off.
I have told Dara she scares me and my kids when she comes in unexpectedly. We expect her to ring the doorbell like a normal guest. I have made light jokes, but she hasn't picked up on them. What she's doing is rude, and I don't understand how she can be so comfortable doing it. Do you have any advice for me? -- INTRUDED UPON IN WISCONSIN
DEAR INTRUDED UPON: Obviously, making "light jokes" about Dara's intrusive behavior hasn't been enough to get your message across. That's why the next time she walks in on you, you should tell her plainly, directly and in all seriousness that you expect her to ring the doorbell when she visits, and to refrain from coming into your home in your absence unless she has been specifically requested to do so. And if it happens again, change the code on your garage door.