DEAR ABBY: My husband died unexpectedly eight months ago, leaving me with two young children to raise on my own. My parents are deceased. It has been a long, hard road since then. I have tried to make sure my in-laws continue having contact with my children, encouraging visits to my home and dropping the kids off at their homes when they have asked.
I recently let everyone know that, although I still miss my husband terribly, I have been lonely and I'm ready to start dating again. I was frankly unprepared for the barrage of absolute HATE that was sent my way by my husband's parents and siblings. They have cut off all contact with me and thus my children, which has left me stunned and sent my kids reeling from even more loss in their lives.
Is there something wrong or disrespectful with my wanting companionship and to be happy again? My in-laws seem to expect me to be in mourning forever, which is cruel and incredibly inconsiderate. Please help me find peace with all of this because it's tearing me up inside. -- IN TURMOIL IN DETROIT
DEAR IN TURMOIL: Your former in-laws may have been less upset had you waited a full year before letting "everyone" know that you're ready to start dating and going on with your life. Not knowing them, I can't be sure what has caused them to shun you and their grandchildren, who are their last link to their lost son and brother.
You may find peace through acceptance of the fact that as one chapter in life has closed, another is opening up and you will have a full life ahead of you. That is not wrong. As much as you may have loved your husband, now that he is gone you have every right to continue living a full and happy life with companionship and love. My deepest sympathy to you for the loss of your husband.