DEAR ABBY: I am the product of an interracial relationship from the late '60s. My maternal grandmother wanted nothing to do with me and made my teenage mother give me up for adoption. Before my biological mother passed away a few years ago, her dying wish was for my grandmother and me to form a relationship. She didn't want her mother to be alone in her final years.
I made an attempt to forge a relationship with my grandmother only to be told that she didn't like me because of the color of my skin. Since then, I have been having bad dreams of my mother being disappointed in me because I didn't fulfill her wish. Please advise me on what I should do. -- UNACCEPTED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNACCEPTED: It takes two people to form a relationship. By reaching out to your grandmother, you did the best you could to fulfill your mother's wish -- which, from your description of your grandmother, was an unfair burden to try to place on you. There's no reason for you to court another round of rejection and, for your sake, I'm advising you not to.
It may help to write a letter to your mother, explaining to her what happened when you reached out to your grandmother and how it felt, then read it at her grave. But please, stop blaming yourself for your grandmother's inability to love.