DEAR ABBY: I am married to a wonderful and unique man. Despite his privileged upbringing he is very down-to-earth. His parents' affluence afforded him many opportunities and still does. Unfortunately, my in-laws are snobbish, self-absorbed and competitive. They are critical of everyone -- especially their grown son. They put him and each other down constantly. They cause scenes and can't enjoy life.
My husband is trying to be patient because he knows his parents aren't going to change at their age. But they consume so much of our energy with their constant dramatic highs and lows. Any advice for dealing with drama queens (and kings)? They do love us and can be considerate. -- LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR REAL: It may help you and your husband to understand that people who act the way your in-laws do are usually insecure on some basic level. They put others down to inflate their egos and reassure themselves that they're "OK" by magnifying (or inventing) flaws in others. When your in-laws start to criticize, be pleasant and make a point of saying something positive about their target. It will short-circuit the rant.