DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, while substitute teaching, I met a man who was also a substitute teacher. We would often have lunch together in the school cafeteria. "Lou" told me he had been living with a woman, "Meg," for 12 years, but that she had begun developing Alzheimer's disease. Her sons planned on moving them into an assisted living facility.
Several months ago, Lou called and asked to take me to lunch. At lunch he said he is still living with Meg, but plans to move into a place of his own soon. He said he'd like to start seeing me on a regular basis. He gave me his home phone number, but said that if Meg answers, I should tell her it's the school calling him about a job.
I told him I'm not interested in seeing him until he is actually living on his own, but he keeps calling to get me to change my mind. My children and my friends tell me it would not be wrong to start seeing Lou because he's no longer actively involved with the woman. What's the right thing to do? -- LOOKING FOR ANSWERS IN FLORIDA
DEAR LOOKING FOR ANSWERS: That you would have second thoughts about becoming involved with a man who asks you to lie to the woman he's been living with for 17 years shows a lot about your character. That he would ask you to do otherwise speaks not very flatteringly about his.
You appear to be someone with high standards and dignity. If you prefer to wait until Meg and Lou are no longer living together, I respect that. And if his interest in you is serious, he will respect it, too.