DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old daughter, "Shannon," has moved back home and has a part-time job. We pay for her health and car insurance. Because her funds are limited, I asked her to make me a list of things she might want for Christmas. The two things she wants are a tattoo and a piercing.
I told her that while I respect her wish to express herself, I do not want to pay for something like that. I said if she wants a tattoo and a piercing, she will have to save her money and get them. She became upset with me and said I should give her what she wants instead of something I prefer.
I know there are things Shannon needs. Am I selfish for not wanting to give her a tattoo or piercing when I'd rather spend my money on something more practical like shoes, clothing or incidentals? -- SENSIBLE MOM IN LONGVIEW, TEXAS
DEAR SENSIBLE MOM: If you are uncomfortable paying for a body modification for your daughter, then don't do it. However, you should take into consideration that Shannon is an adult now and reconsider imposing your values on her.
If she were my daughter, I would give her a check for Christmas along with a note expressing holiday wishes and the thought that you gave her a healthy body, and with it, a nice complexion. It is now hers to do with as she wishes. Then cross your fingers and hope she'll have second thoughts.