DEAR ABBY: What do you say to people when they tell you they will "pray for you" when you're dealing with an illness or other life tragedy if you are a nonbeliever? Statistics say that 34 percent of Americans are nonbelievers, so please address this to the 34 percent who share my feelings of appreciation for the sentiment, but feel like hypocrites for playing along to reciprocate their kindness. I wonder if any of your nonbeliever readers can share how they internally deal with this dilemma. -- NONBELIEVER, BUT GRATEFUL
DEAR NONBELIEVER: I'm sure they will, in droves. However, because nonbelievers physically resemble those who are believers, and nonbelievers don't usually wear symbols indicating their nonbelief, it's understandable that someone of faith would attempt to offer comfort that way. And most people battling a serious illness welcome a "blast of positivity," whether it is couched in religious terms or not.
When someone offers to pray for you, it's usually because the person cares about you, knows you are sick and feels helpless to offer anything more to help. Accept it for what it is, and say thank you rather than tell the person that what they offered is, in your eyes, worthless. That's called being gracious -- regardless of your religious or nonreligious convictions.