DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old son left for college over a month ago. While cleaning his room, I found all sorts of marijuana paraphernalia. I'm at a loss about how to handle this. I want to confront him because he knew the rules of the house (no drugs) and lied to me and broke them.
I do not want drugs in this house! I don't know what to do or say if he wants to come home for school breaks. I pray he is no longer doing them, but I think I would just be lied to if I brought it up. -- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN FREDERICKSBURG, VA.
DEAR HEARTBROKEN MOM: You have a right to set the rules in your house and expect that they will be respected. When your son comes home for his first school break, tell him what you found and how hurt you are to have been lied to. Then tell him that to make sure he doesn't abuse your trust in the future, you will be randomly drug-testing him. (Testing kits are sold over the counter at your pharmacy.) Explain what the penalty will be if he disregards your wishes. The threat of a drug test may ensure his compliance.