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by Abigail Van Buren

Name Change Is a Roadblock on Couple's Trip to the Altar

DEAR ABBY: My siblings and I never hear from my grandmother unless she's in town, and then it's usually for one day out of the two weeks she's here. She never calls on holidays, birthdays or just to say hello. Yes, we call her on these special days.

We have other grandparents who wouldn't let a week go by without calling to ask how we are, how we are doing in school or just to talk.

My mom is a grandma to my oldest sister's children and when she doesn't see or hear from them within a week, she'll call or visit them. (By the way, my grandmother is retired, very healthy and travels. When she does, we don't even get a postcard!) What's wrong with her? -- HURT FEELINGS IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR HURT FEELINGS: I agree that you didn't get the standard-issue doting, cookie-baking grandmother. Not knowing her, I can't explain the reason for her distant behavior, but I'm positive it has nothing to do with you personally. She may be preoccupied with her own life, or it may have something to do with the relationship she has with your parents. If you really want the answer to your question, the person you should ask is your grandmother the next time she comes to town.