DEAR ABBY: My long-distance boyfriend, "Wayne," moved here two years ago to take a job working for my twin sister "Kim's" mentor. After five months on the job, Wayne was terminated and was replaced by -- my sister! To say there are hurt feelings is an understatement.
Wayne and I were unaware that Kim had been having an affair with this much-older married father of two. He has now left his wife and kids and is living with my sister. Kim is enjoying her job as his assistant and reaping all the benefits of his long-established business.
I'm devastated by the betrayal. It frustrates me that after months of deception, my twin is benefiting from a massive indiscretion that ended a marriage and destroyed a family. We were always close, but I don't want to include her lover in any upcoming events in my life. She says they're a "package deal." How do I move past this -- or should I? -- DECEIVED BY MY EVIL TWIN
DEAR DECEIVED: I'm not sure what "upcoming events in your life" you're referring to, but if they include Wayne, his feelings should also be taken into consideration. How angry and resentful will he feel if he's forced to interact with the man who fired him so he could be replaced by your sister?
I can't decide for you how you will work this out, but I will offer this advice: For the present, make no hard and fast decisions. This could play out in any number of ways. Her boss could marry her, or he could return to his wife and family. Wait and see what the future brings. It's often full of surprises.
DEAR ABBY: I am a single adult female. I have a neighbor and friend I'll call Kurt. He has been terrific to me. He has given me things, taken me out a few times and seems very caring. I enjoy the time we spend together and I have developed romantic feelings for him. My problem is Kurt is gay.
I know I can't have the kind of relationship with him that I'd like to. Once, we spent the whole day together and I spent the whole time wishing it had been a real date. It seems like whenever we go out together I don't know how to handle the situation. Because he's a neighbor, I run into him a lot. I could use some advice on this. -- SO NEAR AND YET SO FAR IN TEXAS
DEAR NEAR AND FAR: You and Kurt appear to be compatible on many levels, but you must accept that as wonderful a person as he is -- he cannot give you the romantic love you're looking for. He isn't "wired" that way. Wishing, hoping and dreaming won't change that -- but it WILL waste your time and prevent you from looking for eligible men.
You need to put the brakes on this friendship until you have regained your balance and/or have met someone else. And tell Kurt why, so his feelings won't be hurt. I'm betting it won't be the first time he's heard it.
DEAR ABBY: Is a grandmother being disrespectful when she purposely continues to misspell her 12-year-old grandson's name on cards and gifts? -- HIS NAME IS JOE!
DEAR H.N.I.J.!: Not knowing the grandmother, I can't say for certain. She may be letting you know she's disappointed you didn't name the boy after his grandfather "Morris." She could also be illiterate or somewhat demented, but I'm betting she's letting you know she's not happy with the name you chose.
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