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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Feelings For Friend Lead To Disappointment

DEAR ABBY: I am a single adult female. I have a neighbor and friend I'll call Kurt. He has been terrific to me. He has given me things, taken me out a few times and seems very caring. I enjoy the time we spend together and I have developed romantic feelings for him. My problem is Kurt is gay.

I know I can't have the kind of relationship with him that I'd like to. Once, we spent the whole day together and I spent the whole time wishing it had been a real date. It seems like whenever we go out together I don't know how to handle the situation. Because he's a neighbor, I run into him a lot. I could use some advice on this. -- SO NEAR AND YET SO FAR IN TEXAS

DEAR NEAR AND FAR: You and Kurt appear to be compatible on many levels, but you must accept that as wonderful a person as he is -- he cannot give you the romantic love you're looking for. He isn't "wired" that way. Wishing, hoping and dreaming won't change that -- but it WILL waste your time and prevent you from looking for eligible men.

You need to put the brakes on this friendship until you have regained your balance and/or have met someone else. And tell Kurt why, so his feelings won't be hurt. I'm betting it won't be the first time he's heard it.

Read more in: Love & Dating | Friends & Neighbors