DEAR ABBY: My mother gives gifts -- sometimes very generous ones -- but always with strings attached. She also keeps a record of which recipients have responded with appropriate gratitude (cards, phone calls) and those who have not. Those individuals on the "not" list are ridiculed behind their backs and slighted in other ways.
My mother considers herself a "good Christian," but I believe her actions are selfish, and I have conflicting emotions when I receive gifts from her. What do you think? -- CONFLICTED IN WISCONSIN
DEAR CONFLICTED: I think you should always thank your mother graciously and appropriately for her generosity when she gives you a gift, if only because it is considered good manners.