DEAR ABBY: I have a 2-year-old son, "Seth." His father, "Ray," and I went our separate ways during my pregnancy. He came to see Seth a few times when he was a couple of months old and promised he'd continue, but he didn't follow through. Ray has married since then, and hasn't called to ask about his son. I don't call him either.
He didn't show up for court and the DNA test, so the judge ordered him to pay child support by default, which he has been doing. I don't believe in forcing a man to be a father, and I would never make my son visit him. It is obvious Ray has no interest in his child. I contacted the grandparents and they are just as cold. What do I tell Seth when he asks about his father? -- SOLE PARENT IN ALABAMA
DEAR SOLE PARENT: Tell him the truth. Explain that when he was born, Ray wasn't ready to accept the responsibilities that go along with being a dad -- and that as time has passed, Ray has been unwilling to step forward. As sad as that may be, it would be worse to give your son false information or false hope that his biological father will ever be willing to give him more than the court ordered him to.