DEAR ABBY: My wife died nine years ago after a long illness. We have a son, a daughter and seven grandchildren.
I met "Lucille" two years ago at a basketball game that involved both our grandsons. Slowly, we began dating. Lucille has been a widow for many years and has five children. We are now engaged and planning a wedding for about 60 people after Lucille retires next year. We want to include our families in the ceremony.
Lucille's two eldest sons plan to give her away. Two of her granddaughters will be flower girls. I asked my son to be my best man and he refused. He said he is happy for us and will attend the wedding, but he prefers not to stand up for me. He feels it would be disloyal to his mother's memory. He is adamant.
I never imagined my son would act this way. I didn't mean to offend him. I'm not trying to replace his mother. We just want to bring both families together. Abby, your opinion, please. -- WELL-MEANING DAD ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR DAD: It's a shame that your son feels unable to support you as you enter this new phase of your life. If he is offended at the idea that after nine years you would want to remarry, the problem is his. Do not make it yours. I'm sure your late wife would want your life to be fulfilling. Ask your daughter or a close friend to stand up with you and let nothing spoil your day. You and Lucille have earned your happiness. Bless you both.