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by Abigail Van Buren

Son Left to Raise Himself Wants Distance From His Parents

DEAR ABBY: When someone elopes, is a bridal shower after the fact appropriate? There will be a reception later this summer where a wedding gift seems expected. I think having a bridal shower is not proper etiquette. What do you say? -- ASKANCE IN VERMONT

DEAR ASKANCE: The intent of a wedding shower is to extend good wishes to the bride -- and with increasing frequency, the groom. Having one after a hastily planned wedding or an elopement is not a breach of etiquette. However, if you disapprove, no law says you must attend.