DEAR ABBY: When someone elopes, is a bridal shower after the fact appropriate? There will be a reception later this summer where a wedding gift seems expected. I think having a bridal shower is not proper etiquette. What do you say? -- ASKANCE IN VERMONT
DEAR ASKANCE: The intent of a wedding shower is to extend good wishes to the bride -- and with increasing frequency, the groom. Having one after a hastily planned wedding or an elopement is not a breach of etiquette. However, if you disapprove, no law says you must attend.