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by Abigail Van Buren

Son Left to Raise Himself Wants Distance From His Parents

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Kate," is 27 and has a 3-year-old son. She and the father are not married. He is self-centered, controlling and keeps her stranded. She has no car and no money. They currently live with his family -- a far from ideal situation.

I am struggling because I'm unable to help her financially, and she feels lost and alone. My husband (her stepfather) won't allow them to live with us, which I understand. We're scrimping to get by. I have located several online sites for single moms regarding assistance, but I feel it is up to Kate to pursue them.

What else can I offer her regarding steering her in the right direction? If she could contact others in her situation, perhaps they might point her in directions I cannot. Your advice would be welcomed. -- GRANDMA IN PRESCOTT, ARIZ.

DEAR GRANDMA: Because of your financial situation there is a limit to what you can do. Give your daughter the websites and explain that she may find support and suggestions there from other single mothers -- the rest is up to her. But please, realize that until your daughter is willing to take charge of her life, nothing will change. Continue to be caring and supportive, and let your daughter know you love her.