DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Bud," retired a year ago and now does almost nothing with his life. He calls himself a "house husband," but that's a lie. All he does is watch TV or play on his computer all day while I work full time outside the home.
Our house has become a pigsty. If I try to do some cleaning, Bud gets mad and says he'll do it "later." Later comes and goes.
Returning to a filthy house after work is driving me crazy. He doesn't even do the grocery shopping; I have to do it on my lunch hour.
Any advice on how I can get his rear end off the couch and get him to assume some responsibilities? I don't usually nag, but I'm so mad I'm taking out my frustrations on my exercise bike. It's making me very fit, but I'm still upset about his lack of ambition. -- WIFE OF A LAZY SLOB
DEAR WIFE: You and Bud have a communication problem. Rather than scold him about his inactivity, try to get him to tell you (calmly) what his "vision" of retirement is. You may find that it's very different from yours. He may also be depressed at the changes that have occurred in his life.
If Bud was always a "lazy slob," then face it -- that's the person you married. However, if this is a recent, radical change in his behavior, you should insist he be examined by his doctor. But taking out your frustrations on your exercise bike is not a solution, and you may have to decide if this is how you want to live the rest of your life.