DEAR ABBY: I have always had a close relationship with my mother. She is smart, wonderful and sweet, but she can also be naive.
In the past Mom has trusted people who turned out to be not very nice. When she began this relationship with the "perfect man," I was curious. I inquired about his prior relationships and history in general. He openly shared details about his past -- except for one thing I later discovered on my own. He has served an extensive stint in prison for being a child predator and is still on parole.
I don't want him around my children or any of my mom's other grandchildren. Mom says he's a reformed person now. He may be, but I don't know him well. Mom is welcome to see my children anytime, but not with him. She thinks I'm being unreasonable, and I'm uncomfortable about the way she is pressing the issue. What should I do? -- CAN'T BACK DOWN ON THIS ONE
DEAR CAN'T BACK DOWN: Stand firm in your resolve until such time as you are convinced the "perfect man" will not offend again. Your mother is emotional about him and is not thinking clearly. If he had leveled about the fact he's on parole and for what, that would be one thing. But he didn't, and that is cause for worry.