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by Abigail Van Buren

Mom's Support of Abuser Is Betrayal to Her Daughter

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I once thought we'd be empty nesters as our children went off to college and the military. But the last one came home after graduation to "seek employment" and "help us out for a while."

We love "Ian" with all our hearts, but he has a job now. Although he doesn't make enough to buy a house yet, he could at least rent an apartment. He has a steady girlfriend and he spends more time at her place than ours.

Did I forget to mention that Ian is 30? He is also considered one of our community's "prime catches." He's courteous, dresses well and is nice to everyone. Abby, at what point do we tell our son that we love him but need him to move on with his life? -- CARING MOTHER IN IOWA

DEAR CARING MOTHER: How about tonight? And if that's not possible because he's spending the night at his girlfriend's -- as soon as he returns home. Don't be unkind about it, but do be firm and agree on a date after which you expect him to be out.