DEAR ABBY: I'm a married woman in my 40s, raising a family. I work full-time doing a physical job outdoors and after work I'm often worn out.
My hobby is art. I have drawn and painted since I was very young. My problem is, I'm afraid to say no when relatives ask me to do arts and crafts for them. They even volunteer me to do projects for their friends. If money is offered, I usually turn it down.
The issue is the time involved. I'm stressed out. I drop everything when I get these requests, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and annoyed. I have to do these projects before and after my regular job and on weekends. My house and family get neglected. And because I can't devote the necessary time to the projects, I'm unhappy with the result.
I have dropped hints about how I'm tired after working a full-time job, but no one seems to care. How can I tell them I need a break without upsetting them? -- BURNED-OUT PICASSO
DEAR BURNED-OUT: You need to learn to say no. For a people-pleaser this can present a challenge, but in your case it should be followed with, "I'm too busy to take that on right now." You should also rethink your refusal to accept the offer of money. If you do, it will probably result in your being asked to do projects less often -- trust me on that.
Also consider this: If you turn your hobby into a little side business and charge for your talent, it may enable you to fund projects that will give you some of the psychic gratification you're missing.