DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Eric," has a fear of heights. He doesn't like glass elevators, never uses hotel balconies or drives on winding mountain roads. His parents were the same way.
The problem is he won't allow our young daughter to stand on the balcony, and he recently cut down our favorite mature tree because he was afraid our little girl would fall out of it. How can I stop my husband from passing on his phobia to our daughter? I have been patient with him, but cutting down the tree told me he has gone off the deep end. Please help. -- RATIONAL WIFE
DEAR RATIONAL WIFE: A phobia is defined as "an inexplicable or illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects or situation." There's nothing illogical about keeping a small child off a balcony or out of a tall tree. However, cutting down the tree was an overreaction.
As much as Eric loves the child, he can't protect her from everything he perceives as a possible danger. He could have accomplished his goal of keeping her safe by impressing upon her that tree-climbing is dangerous -- something that's off-limits -- and explaining exactly why.