DEAR ABBY: A good friend has asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. The problem is, the bachelor party will be in Las Vegas. Ordinarily that wouldn't be an issue, but there is no date set yet for the party. The wedding is in September, so I assume the bachelor party will be in August.
I recently bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend, and I also am hosting my brother's bachelor party in late August. I honestly can't afford a trip to Vegas at this time, especially with short notice. What's the proper protocol? Do I find a way to come up with the money? How do I let my friend know I can't make it without getting him upset? -- FULL CALENDAR IN PHILLY
DEAR FULL CALENDAR: The proper protocol is to tell your friend ASAP that you cannot attend the bachelor party for the valid reasons you shared with me. You not only do not have the money to make the trip, but you also have a prior family commitment. Your friend may be disappointed, but if he becomes upset, that's his problem, so please do not make it yours.
P.S. If he's truly a friend he'll understand.