DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in a bad situation. My boyfriend, "Kyle," is bipolar/schizophrenic. Sometimes he can be violent. Much of our time together is spent taking care of him. I work; he doesn't.
We are both college students and I believe, regardless of what I have been through, I have a bright future ahead of me. Kyle is verbally and physically abusive at times, and yes, I end up hurt most of those times. I have convinced myself that it's my fault because I make him mad when he is under stress or he is manic. He breaks up with me every week and then tells me he loves me, then turns around and says he hates me.
Abby, all I want to do is love him and help him. I don't know what he wants or what will make him happy. I need to know if I should stick with Kyle or give up. -- HOPELESSLY DEVOTED IN JERSEY CITY, N.J.
DEAR HOPELESSLY DEVOTED: Healthy, loving relationships are based on a relatively even give-and-take between partners. You may want to help Kyle, but you are not qualified to do so.
Because you say your situation is a "bad" one, and your boyfriend is verbally abusive and hurts you physically as well as emotionally, I am advising you to find out from a mental health professional why you would subject yourself to the emotional roller coaster ride that you have. If you do, this will happen to you less often in the future. Also, the counselor can help you decide whether this relationship is salvageable.