DEAR ABBY: My wealthy brother-in-law and his entire family didn't give my daughter a graduation gift. And even though they attended my son's wedding, none of them gave him a wedding gift, either.
We have attended the graduations and weddings of all their children and have been generous. We know the right thing is to say nothing, but it's hard to understand and remain quiet. What do you think? -- GIFTLESS FAMILY IN GRAND RAPIDS
DEAR GIFTLESS FAMILY: If your in-laws attended both events, they should have given something. They may be cheap, stingy or so newly rich that they haven't learned the basic rules of etiquette. Or, they may have had financial reversals you are unaware of. You are correct that the "right" thing to do is to say nothing, so resist the temptation to call them on it. And in dealing with them in the future, expect nothing and you won't be disappointed.