DEAR ABBY: My elderly father has been a widower for many years. His neighbor, also his age, recently lost her husband, and they have been spending a lot of time together. He takes her shopping, she cooks for him, etc. My concern is twofold: One, this woman is not in good health, and I can't bear to see Dad heartbroken again when she dies. My second concern is the woman and her husband never even invited Dad over for a cup of coffee after Mom died, but now that she's a widow, she all of a sudden wants to be "neighborly." I'd like to ask her why. Would I be out of line? -- LOOKING OUT FOR MY DAD
DEAR LOOKING OUT: Yes, you would. Your question would likely be regarded as hostile by both your father and the neighbor because that's the way it comes across to me.
While you may feel protective, please recognize that your father is an adult and, presumably, able to take care of himself. At this point in his life he doesn't need you to look out for him. Only if asked should you venture an opinion like the one you have confided to me.