DEAR ABBY: I found out my high school sweetheart has cancer and only a short time to live. I would like to send her flowers and a message -- but without the knowledge of my wife of 43 years. Is this a bad idea? -- OLD FLAME IN ILLINOIS
DEAR OLD FLAME: Frankly, I see no reason why you should sneak around to do it without your wife's knowledge. Tell her word has reached you that the woman is dying, that at the time you knew her she meant a lot to you, and you plan to send her flowers and a message. If your wife is so insecure that she would tell you not to, don't do it. But, please, don't beat around the bush or sneak around. You're all adults, and being secretive is childish.