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by Abigail Van Buren

Neighbors' Nightly Water Show Is Beginning to Make Waves

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently had major surgery. I wanted to call a few close friends and family members beforehand to let them know. When I told my husband, we had an argument. He felt they would feel obligated to respond. I felt it would be nice for both of us to have support and that they would want to know. As it turned out, I made some calls and we did receive some much-needed support. Was I wrong to do this? (My husband wants your opinion on the matter.) -- GRATEFUL FOR HELPING HANDS IN COLORADO

DEAR GRATEFUL: The prospect of major surgery can be frightening -- both for the patient and the spouse. Your husband may have preferred to downplay it because he was afraid broadcasting it was displaying weakness. You obviously found the prospect traumatic and didn't want to be alone at that time. Was it wrong to ask for help? I don't think so. My advice to your husband is to lighten up and get well soon.