DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my boyfriend, "Dwight," and I set a date for our wedding. He wanted to be married on his birthday. We happily announced the date to all our family and friends.
Six months ago, Dwight informed me that his divorce is taking longer than expected and the wedding date would have to be changed. I was very upset. I refused to set another one until after his divorce is final.
Now as the original date approaches, Dwight is mentioning things he'd like to do on his birthday. Abby, it was supposed to be my wedding day! I do not want to go to an action-adventure movie that day. I don't know what to do with all the feelings of sadness associated with that missed date. Am I being childish? Should I just celebrate his birthday the way he wants? -- DEPRESSED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR DEPRESSED: Your sadness may be less about depression than anger -- turned inward. While I sympathize with your disappointment, you need to accept that when you date a man who is still married, this goes with the territory.
Because you are close enough that you had set a wedding date, you should also be close enough to discuss your feelings. It is understandable that you don't feel like celebrating this birthday, and intelligent of you not to set another date until he is actually free to marry you. Do nothing that makes you uncomfortable.