DEAR ABBY: For the last five years I have had no time for myself. I'm 30 and have a wonderful wife and two daughters, 7 and 4. I work a 40-hour week and go to school full-time.
I don't want to sound selfish, because I know that my priorities are my wife and daughters, and I enjoy spending "quality time" with them. But I also feel that every other week or so, I should be able to get away for a few hours by myself to enjoy 18 holes of golf or go fishing.
If I tell my wife I'm going to do something, she makes me feel guilty. If I ask, she gives me the third degree. I know she doesn't need or want time to herself because I have asked her repeatedly if she does, hoping she'd return the favor -- but she doesn't give me "permission."
Am I asking the impossible? How do I find time for myself and tell my wife without upsetting her? -- "SELFISH" IN SPRINGFIELD
DEAR "SELFISH": (Almost) everyone needs "alone time" to pursue personal interests and unwind. You have a full schedule and you deserve quality time for yourself. Out of consideration for your wife, ask her if playing golf or fishing on a specific day conflicts with any couple or family event she had planned. And be sure to tell her that having some time to yourself will make you a better husband and father -- because it's the truth. Then go and enjoy yourself, and don't feel guilty.