DEAR ABBY: This is difficult to write. My sister reads her children's text messages after they're asleep. She bragged to me about how popular her daughter "Naomi" -- my 14-year-old niece -- is because she's giving oral sex to the boys.
My sister claims Naomi isn't "having sex," so she thinks it's OK! I am shocked by her ignorance and terrified knowing that Naomi is putting herself at risk for STDs. My husband says if I confront Naomi it will drive her away, but I can't remain silent and watch my niece ruin her life. What's the point of reading your children's text messages if you're unwilling to stand up and be a parent? What can I do? -- TERRIFIED FOR MY NIECE IN THE SOUTHWEST
DEAR TERRIFIED: Your sister's parenting skills are appalling. Her daughter isn't "popular"; she is promiscuous -- and her mother is allowing it. Do your niece a favor and talk to her, because oral sex is sex, and she is putting herself at risk for a number of sexually transmitted diseases.
The Sexuality Information and Education Council has a wealth of information resources and tools for addressing this important subject. Its website, www.familiesaretalking.org, helps with discussing sexuality-related issues and provides information for young people, parents and caregivers.
Other reliable resources include Planned Parenthood's www.teenwire.com and the American Social Health Association website, www.iwannaknow.org, which is also a safe place for teens to learn about sexual health.