DEAR ABBY; My son and daughter-in-law live like pigs. Neither one of them was raised that way. They live in a beautiful home that literally smells like a litter box. I would look the other way or not visit, but now they have four children.
Not only are my grandchildren unkempt and dirty -- dirty clothes, smelly shoes, unwashed hair -- but my son and his wife foist their parenting duties off on their daughter, who's only 10. It's HER job to get her brothers up and bathed, changed, dressed and fed so Mom and Dad can sleep late. The poor girl is exhausted all the time. She doesn't always have the time to brush her own hair/teeth before school. She's often made fun of.
My son sees nothing wrong with these "chores," and I'm afraid to say anything because I know my daughter-in-law will cut me off from the kids. What's sad is my son allows it. Am I crazy? Please help. -- DESPERATE GRANDMA ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR DESPERATE GRANDMA: You're not crazy; you're a caring grandmother who can't stand seeing her grandchildren neglected. Now pick up the phone and call Childhelp. The toll-free number is 800-422-4453. The advocate who answers the call can give you information about agencies that can help, and your confidentiality will be protected.