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by Abigail Van Buren

Candle Lighting Shows Support for Those Grieving Lost Child

DEAR ABBY: I moved out of my parents' house and have been working full time and supporting myself for three years. I love my life as a young adult.

This past year, my younger sister "Nicole" has been saying she wants to move in with me so she can get out of our parents' house and be closer to me. She earns twice as much as I do, and can easily afford her own place. I have not encouraged her because I enjoy living by myself.

Nicole and our parents are now accusing me of being a terrible sister and friend to her. She has been depressed, gone into therapy and has been cutting herself. I want to support my sister in any way I can, but I don't think her living with me will be the solution to her many problems. I don't want to cause a rift in the family, but I also don't want to be guilted into letting her move in. What should I do? -- ON MY OWN IN DENVER

DEAR ON YOUR OWN: Because your sister's depression is so severe that she's cutting herself, you are right in thinking her living with you won't be the solution to her problems. That she realizes she needs professional help and is getting it is a step in the right direction. You should not have your sister move in until and unless you have discussed it with her and her therapist and are satisfied it will be beneficial for both of you.