Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Wants to Wash Her Man Right Out of Holiday Kitchen

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 15 years has been forthcoming about the four serious relationships (two marriages included), she had before we were married. Recently, however, she mentioned she still has a "place in her heart" -- and always will -- for her first boyfriend. They had a three-year high school romance.

I find this really disturbing. It's like I will never get 100 percent of her heart, no matter what. It also bothers me that he was just a boyfriend. I could almost accept feelings for an ex-husband because of the nature of the relationship -- but a boyfriend? Come on! Please advise. -- SHE HAS ALL OF ME

DEAR ALL OF ME: Your wife's first love will always have a place in her heart (and many women would concur) because the relationship has been idealized. They didn't experience the ups and downs of daily living, budget problems, child problems, illnesses and other realities that living with someone on a daily basis can present.

You have all of her, including the fact that she tends to romanticize the past. However, your marriage will be better served if, when the subject of the past is raised, you turn it to the present or the future.