DEAR ABBY: We have two children, ages 9 and 6, and live in Northern California. We'll be traveling to Southern California soon to attend my cousin's wedding. We'll be staying with my parents.
My three unmarried adult siblings will be coming from out-of-state to attend the wedding. My brother "Ray" is a clear favorite with my kids. He visits often and showers them with attention, gifts and outings. He loves them dearly, but when he's around he consumes all of their attention.
I feel bad for my parents and other siblings -- especially my sister, who doesn't get to see them often and feels she can't compete with the gifts and rough-house game-playing. Do you have any suggestions for how I might temper the kids' enthusiasm for Uncle Ray on this trip, so others get to have meaningful bonding time with their nephew and niece, whom they rarely see? -- MARILYN IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR MARILYN: Enlist Ray's help with this and start talking with your children now about the special relationships you had with your parents and your siblings while growing up. Share funny stories, which will make them more "real" to the kids. Talk about the qualities that make each of your family members special, and be sure to mention how much your parents and all your siblings care about them. Then arrange in advance one or more activities they can enjoy together that do not include Ray. That would be some steps in the right direction.