DEAR ABBY: I am recently widowed. Men I work with and the husbands of some of my friends have been hitting on me. They'll ask me out for a meal, give me big hugs -- and a couple of them have even kissed me on the mouth.
I don't lead them on, and besides, I'm a chubby great-grandmother. What drives men to do this? Do they think they're "consoling" me? When these things happen, I act as if they never did and go on as usual because to do otherwise would be hurtful to their wives, who are my friends. These men don't frighten me, but I don't understand their motivation. Do you? -- GRANNY IN HER 70s
DEAR GRANNY: There isn't a blanket explanation for the behavior you have described. Some of your friends' husbands may be trying to console you; others may have lecherous intentions. As to your male co-workers, big hugs and kisses are a no-no in the workplace and you should tell them so.
If these incidents happen repeatedly with the same people, you will have to speak up and say they're making you uncomfortable. And as to your friends' husbands, try this: Stiff-arm them when you greet them with a sweet smile, then turn your cheek when you see them coming at you.