DEAR ABBY: My mom goes overboard with gifts for my two sons when she goes on vacation or when she shops for birthdays and Christmas. I have asked her to scale back and not buy them each a box full of stuff. I tried to be tactful, but she said they "expect" Grandma to give them stuff.
The problem is she gives them random things that hold no interest for them. My sons are always kind and thank her, but their rooms are packed full of toys, many never opened, because they have too much stuff.
When I asked Mom to just give the boys a book about the next place she visits, she became defensive. I don't know how to tell her in a way she'll understand that she's wasting her hard-earned money on gifts my children won't use or have no interest in. Can you help me? -- TOO MUCH STUFF IN IOWA
DEAR TOO MUCH: Try something like this: "Mom, you are a generous sweetheart, but you are giving them too much stuff. They're inundated! There are toys in their rooms that have never been opened because they have outgrown them. That's why this year we are donating the unopened ones to a homeless shelter. It hurts me to see you spend money on items the boys don't use -- so please, cut back on the number of gifts, and before spending your hard-earned money, ask me what they can use."