DEAR ABBY: My lifelong friend from childhood wonders why I am avoiding her. Now that I am in my 80s, the unfairness of a lie from our past is still plaguing me.
Seventy-five years ago, at a Sunday school picnic, I saw "Mary Ann's" mother take something from another woman's purse. As she looked around, she caught my eye and an ugly expression came over her face. Days later, Mary Ann told me people in our church were being told that I was a thief. Not having the maturity to handle the enormous falsehood, and knowing it wasn't true, I chose to ignore it. But it didn't go away. It followed me all my life.
Some years later, another friend advised me to talk to our minister, who told me to pray about it. My prayer was that he would stand up in the pulpit and declare my innocence, but it never came about and I eventually left the church.
I learned later that Mary Ann's mother had a habit of stealing from homes where she worked as a practical nurse. Losing my reputation because of this woman's weakness made the lie all the more painful, and I so want to be cleared at least in my friend's eyes. But do I want to hurt my friend in revealing her mother's responsibility in switching the blame for her theft? Please help. -- IN LINGERING PAIN, GRAHAM, WASH.
DEAR IN PAIN: Write Mary Ann a letter and tell her exactly what you have told me. I'm sure she knows her mother's character very well, and it will come as no shock to her. Then the two of you should decide together how her mother's slander of you should be handled. If she's your friend, she'll help you.