DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years, "Sam," came home from basic training in the Army and told me he wanted to go active. (He was part of the National Guard.) He has asked me to go with him and I agreed, but in order to do that we have to be married.
I love Sam very much and we have talked about marriage before, but not elopement. He hasn't really "proposed" because he doesn't have a ring. We will be married, but without a real wedding -- yet.
I have no problem with this. It's a bit unconventional, but I love Sam and want to go with him. It will be an opportunity to travel, and I could finish my degree online.
The problem is, how would I define us as a couple? When we move onto the base, I'm worried people will see my ringless finger and ask questions. What should I tell them? And when we do have the actual wedding, what will that be called? -- DON'T WANT TO BE EMBARRASSED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DON'T WANT TO BE EMBARRASSED: Not all married women wear wedding rings, although most do. If you are afraid there will be questions if you're not wearing one, you and Sam might consider getting a used gold band to wear until he can buy you something else. If that doesn't appeal to you, then you'll just have to tell people that you are married and you have the license to prove it. (I doubt it will come to that.) And when you and Sam are finally able to have the wedding of your dreams, call it a renewal of your marriage vows because that will be accurate.