DEAR ABBY: I have a friend, "Dina," whom I have known since we were in kindergarten. (We are in our early teens now.) Her mom was in jail when she was a very young girl because of drugs, and she abandoned Dina. Because of this, my mother won't allow me to go to her house or let her come to our house.
Whenever Dina asks if we can hang out, I have to make up some excuse. She says, "You're always busy." I know it hurts her feelings when she hears I go to other friends' houses.
I know I need to respect my mother's wishes, but maybe we can make an agreement. Can you help me? -- DILEMMA WITH DINA IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DILEMMA: I'll try, but there are no guarantees that what I say will change your mother's mind.
Blaming Dina for her mother's mistakes is unfair to the girl. If your mother doesn't want you going to her house because she is afraid there might be "bad influences" -- her concerns may be valid.
However, for her to come to your home and see what a functional family is like and learn the values you are being taught would benefit her greatly. And it would be no threat to you. And that's why I hope your mother will find it in her heart to relent.