DEAR ABBY: I recently became engaged to a man I have been with for six years. We're planning a wedding this year.
I lost my dad six years ago. My stepmom has been in my life since I was 3. (I am now 33.) When I asked her if she would be willing to contribute to the wedding in place of Dad, she refused! According to her, Dad did not discuss this with her prior to his death.
What is proper protocol here? Was I out of line to ask if she'd be willing to contribute? I feel like the odd child out because my dad and stepmom contributed to my sister's wedding. Considering how long she has been in my life, this was a shock to me. What do you think, Abby? -- FEELING ABANDONED IN MONTANA
DEAR FEELING ABANDONED: Many people have the mistaken impression that a bride's parents are required to pay for or contribute to her wedding. It's not true. A wedding is a gift, and while it would have been nice of your stepmother to have agreed to give you money for yours, no rule of protocol dictates that she had to.
At 33, you and your fiance should be able to finance your own wedding -- and that's what you should do, without feeling abandoned. Many couples these days do exactly that.