DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old goddaughter, "Tammy," is one of the most important people in my life. So are her parents, "Sophie" and "Zack." I was friendly with them separately before they got together. As a couple, they selected me to be godmother. They have since split up.
Zack is understanding about my staying neutral and continuing to be friendly with him and his ex. But Sophie gets mad and won't talk to me for weeks if she hears I went to see Tammy on a weekend she's with her daddy.
Even though I am closer to Sophie, Zack is a great father and a good friend. I don't think it's fair that Sophie expects me to take her side. I feel their issues are theirs alone, and my main focus is that my goddaughter have my support regardless of which parent she happens to be with.
Am I doing something wrong? If not, how do I handle Sophie? -- HONORED IN OMAHA
DEAR HONORED: You are doing nothing wrong. However, viewed from Sophie's perspective, it may appear that you have "chosen" her ex over her. A way to handle this would be to tell Sophie that you are not visiting Tammy when she's with Zack because you prefer his company over Sophie's. It's that you want your goddaughter to have continuity, and if Sophie is upset with Zack, she shouldn't displace her anger onto you because it's not fair to you or her daughter. And further, if this continues, Sophie will drive a caring friend (you) away.