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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: After many months of dating a wonderful woman, "Amy," we have set a date for our wedding. However, there's a problem. As the date draws closer, Amy is concerned about my lack of physical intimacy with her.

While I am very attracted to her, I am having some doubts. I recently noticed a young man at my health club and experienced some unfamiliar feelings. I don't think I am gay, but I am no longer sure that Amy is what I have been looking for.

Should I push these feelings aside and continue our plans for the wedding? Or should I tell Amy the truth about these feelings? -- SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SEARCHING: You should absolutely tell your fiancee the truth about the feelings you're having -- all of them. To marry a woman knowing you might be more attracted to a young man at your health club would bring everyone involved great pain. It is very important that you find out who you are and what you're looking for before coupling up with anyone. While Amy may not be thrilled to hear what you have to say, you owe it to her and to yourself to be frank before this goes any further.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I dated for eight years before we were married two years ago. He has a son from a previous relationship, and we have a 9-month-old son together.

My problem is my mother-in-law. More often than not, she calls me by my stepson's mother's name. Abby, that woman and my husband haven't been together for more than 12 years!

My husband thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. He says I should forget about it, but it bothers me. My relationship with his mother has suffered because of it. She lives near us and helps out with watching our baby, so I see her quite often. What are your thoughts on this? -- ALSO KNOWN AS ...

DEAR A.K.A.: If your mother-in-law's slip of the tongue happened occasionally, I would agree with your husband that it's no big deal. Because it happens often, it appears the woman is doing it deliberately. Have you confronted her about it and told her how hurtful it is? If you haven't, you should. And if it doesn't stop, then you're within your rights to limit your time with her and/or arrange for other supervision for your baby. It would be confusing for him to grow up around a grandmother who calls his mother by a stranger's name.

DEAR ABBY: When I am out with my friends, they can't keep their hands and eyes off their cell phones. They sit there and text whatever guy they're involved with, and I feel like they would rather be with anyone else but me.

I have talked to them about it, but they say I "don't understand" because I have never been in a relationship. Abby, I'm not jealous because they have guys to talk to. I am hurt that my friends think cyber communication is more important than spending time with friends. What do you think? -- TEXTED OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR TEXTED OUT: I'm glad you asked. It is rude for people to behave the way you have described. Good manners dictate that people give their undivided attention to those they are with. To do otherwise sends the signal that their present company is less important.

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