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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Must Sort Out Attractions Before He Is Ready to Marry

DEAR ABBY: After many months of dating a wonderful woman, "Amy," we have set a date for our wedding. However, there's a problem. As the date draws closer, Amy is concerned about my lack of physical intimacy with her.

While I am very attracted to her, I am having some doubts. I recently noticed a young man at my health club and experienced some unfamiliar feelings. I don't think I am gay, but I am no longer sure that Amy is what I have been looking for.

Should I push these feelings aside and continue our plans for the wedding? Or should I tell Amy the truth about these feelings? -- SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SEARCHING: You should absolutely tell your fiancee the truth about the feelings you're having -- all of them. To marry a woman knowing you might be more attracted to a young man at your health club would bring everyone involved great pain. It is very important that you find out who you are and what you're looking for before coupling up with anyone. While Amy may not be thrilled to hear what you have to say, you owe it to her and to yourself to be frank before this goes any further.