DEAR ABBY: My family and I recently spent time with my parents at their home in another state. After we returned, my 10-year-old son and his 14-year-old sister told me they don't like going to visit them. My mom loves us, but she is a negative and depressed person. She doesn't love Dad and doesn't bother to disguise that fact.
I mentioned this to a friend and she said I should tell my mother what my son said. She thinks it could make Mom "see the light" and change for the better. Considering my mother's depressed state, should I tell her? -- UNDECIDED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR UNDECIDED: Perhaps. But if you do, be diplomatic. You might begin by telling her you could see how "down" she was when you all came to visit, and that she could get so much more out of life if she sought professional help for her depression -- specifically some sessions with a licensed counselor. You could also mention that, while your father may not be her favorite person -- it would be better if it was not so obvious to the grandchildren, because they sensed the tension and mentioned it when they returned home.
If you broach the subject lovingly, she might listen and take steps to help herself. One thing is certain -- if you say nothing, nothing will change.