DEAR ABBY: Two years ago I placed my second child for adoption. I was a single mom with a 3-year-old boy to raise and the father was in the military for an extended mission. I thought long and hard before I did it and decided that the gift I could give to another couple was better than the life I could offer a child as a single parent.
I am still in contact with the father. We speak often, comfort each other and just talk. Some people -- mainly men I have dated -- find this relationship disturbing. It has caused two relationships to end.
Abby, am I wrong to continue a friendship with the father of a child I gave up for adoption? I know that at some point the past needs to be the past, and I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Is it wrong to want to have that other person there to connect with me and understand firsthand what a hard life decision I went through? -- GIVEN UP SO MUCH ALREADY IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR GIVEN UP SO MUCH: No, but if you are trying to cultivate and maintain a relationship with someone else, you need to recognize that clinging to the father of that child and talking to him "often" was somewhere between threatening and a turn-off for the men you were involved with. They should have been the ones providing understanding and comfort -- not him.