DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I had to pick up my sister "Karyn" after a night out. When she called she told me I was going to "hate" her and not to judge her. The man she was with had been arrested for DUI. Abby, he is the same person who killed another one of my sisters in a drunk-driving accident years ago! Not only has Karyn been hanging out with him, it has been going on for months and she says it's serious.
I am appalled with my sister's choice. I told Karyn she could choose him or me. I guess she chose him because we haven't spoken since. I thought we were very close before, but now that I know what she has been doing, I no longer want anything to do with her.
Am I overreacting, or should she be more concerned with how her decisions affect the rest of the family? -- DISAPPOINTED IN NEW YORK
DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I don't think you're overreacting, and I don't blame you for being appalled. Your sister has involved herself with a serious alcoholic who, if he could control his addiction, would have dried out after he killed someone. At least for the time being, keep your distance. While there's no accounting for the affairs of the heart, I have a strong hunch Karyn is going to need all the support you and the family can give her as this romance follows its predictable path.
DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful, loving, hard-working husband with one flaw. He is 24 years old and has literally spent 19 years of his life eating nothing but dairy, bread and pasta. We have been married more than two years, and he has only recently begun eating meat.
When I try to encourage him to try fruits or vegetables, he refuses and makes excuses. He'll even claim he is full and stop eating to avoid trying new things. I have managed cooking separately so far, but now we have an 18-month-old and I very worried that she will start imitating her father's poor eating habits. What can I do? I'm afraid for his health and for my daughter's future health. -- TERRIBLY TIRED OF CHEESE IN IOWA
DEAR TIRED OF CHEESE: Visit your nearest bookstore and look for a cookbook for parents of children who are finicky eaters like your husband. One was written in the last few years by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife), which details how to "sneak" healthy ingredients into broths and spaghetti sauces so they get their vitamins. That way you can feed your child and your spouse meals they will accept while providing proper nourishment -- and they'll be none the wiser.
DEAR ABBY: May I share with you and your readers some information that was provided to me by a fireman? It concerns senior citizens.
If seniors don't have an emergency alert device, they should take their car keys to bed with them and place them on their nightstand. The little red "panic" button can be used to start the horn of their car in an emergency. The neighbors will hear the horn and help them. -- RICK IN SCOTTSDALE
DEAR RICK: That's not a bad suggestion -- but first, forewarn the neighbors that if your car alarm goes off, it may indicate that you're in trouble. In my city, car alarms go off so frequently that people often assume it's a malfunction and ignore it.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)